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About Deviant Artist BrendanMale/Canada Group :iconfood-forthought: Food-ForThought
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Deviant for 8 Years
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Biological Man
i shuffle through your
most prized poems,
for something
that doesn't feel
so damn
of every
i'm looking
for something
that spilled out of you,
like a coffee cup
tipping, scalding
an innocent lap,
something fresh like a
slap in the face.
it's nothing against
you, dear, i just can't
stomach any
more artificial products,
because i'm
hungry, baby
biological, man
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 7 4
In Hand
In hand, you hate me like a drunk hates rum;
You stumble into church and fall in line,
But later sit and stare into the sun,
Trying to see His face, but going blind.
You love me like cigars, but with your family
You fear they'll smell the smoke that's all my fault.
You hate me: You're a lock and I'm your key,
Releasing crawling things from your dark vault.
But quake no more: I'll lead your faltering fingers
To light the lamp that melts the shadows so you see
Those crawling things aren't worms of guilt that lingers,
But butterflies, straining to break free.
   You try to to find the light by searching the Above
   When in truth, He lives inside, and lives in love.
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 4 8
self-imposed departure
hollow footsteps down
the halls echo with a
haunting call
emanating from the
hallowed ghostly
grounds, staked
out by dirt-stained hands,
and burnt-out dreams
with snapped-up plans
for the picket fence
i could become
a screaming mourner
burgled of a body
to visit down the years,
a widower of a living
wife, a traveler
exiled from a distant
land that lives on
behind the horizon
you stowed away
on a ship so tossed
out by waves into
a distant war—
that's wrong.
you broke your back
on these fields of
sweet paradise
but grew cold feet
and flew off to carry
lives upon your
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 8 13
'work in progress'
inhaling spices lung deep;
remember moderation
and Sisyphus succeeds:
the artist slot machine
and loving you
is wildfire
is a roiling
arctic ocean
these segments:
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 6 11
silence knocks.
i reach, trembling in
exhaustion, for the
doorknob, then
and wonder what
hides beyond.
i realize in terror
that it's a
night-long death.
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 14 16
drunken demons
you didn't know when you
took that drink from my
beer bottle that my
next sip would make me
think, "so this is what it's like to
kiss you."
only the religious are
haunted by demons. when i slipped
between the covers, next to
you, and then underneath them, the
acrid taste of your devils
settled into the
spaces between my taste buds.
then you told me "this is
wrong," and pushed me
out of bed. every day i hear
your voice in the murmur of crowds and see
your name in word searches and smell
your scent in the summer-laden breeze and
feel your mark carved into my hipbones.
every day i see your lazy smile that
says, "i don't give a shit
but don't touch me." i can see
the demons hooked in your flesh
and i don't even need a beer bottle
to become drunk and
feel your "once-upon-a-
never" kiss.
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 35 52
the path most traveled
we're all dead-
end, one-way roads, so
when you stop
and ask, "what good
is that?" you may as well
ask God [what
we are]
maybe a family Sun-
day drive stretching
long down that barren road,
awash with spring breeze,
warm rays and laughter,
stretching deep into dusk,
is worth it
all, alone
but when the road's end
pulls up to the car, the family
can only make their exit,
doors slamming as the
sunset slips into sleep and
dark blue cold seeps into
the bones of the countryside and
children and parents as they
lie down, motionless, beneath
blind midnight eternal.
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 13 25
lies, lies, lies.
music is magic, love is a
lie, the moon is cheese and
i'm free of fate. my tongue
is dripping the truth like
corroding acid and not
not double negatives.
electricity runs laps up and
down my fingers, never leaving,
never leaving. dreams fry
in my pan mind, curling black,
sighs bubble.
you asked, "how do your
fingers move so fast?" and
continue practicing the piano
yourself (but you stared at his
ass, tonight. screw you.)
maybe one night i can
soak in the moonlight without
dwelling on sonatas or
love, or lies that masquerade
as truth. i'd choose fantasy
because truth is too plain,
but only if that fantasy
doesn't include
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 13 49
Pulling down heaven finally crushed us.
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 47 40
empty seashells
i'm the boy--
no, i'm a boy.
you're the boy
who's just an
empty seashell
but convinces all
that you hold
oceans inside.
(even though you're
not really a boy.)
i'm a boy who
hates peeling off
his shirt because it
reminds him that
he's just dancing
bones (and that
the skeletons in
his closet are bad,
even if he also
uses them as
i'm a famous boy
who no one knows.
i coined the phrase
"air, air everywhere
but not a gasp to
breathe," but no one
heard. all i am was
anyway is just an
empty seashell.
you came along
and told me that
i am me, and slowly
i came to believe it.
the shock widened
my eyes, my heart,
the pipes in my lungs;
now i can breathe.
i'm the boy who
can lounge with
his shirt off, 'cause
he knows his skin
can't be taken to the
dry-cleaners, and
i'm the boy who
learned from a-
nother boy that if
you believe you
have an ocean
inside, others will
hear it, too.
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 51 67
taking up smuggling
you've made me mad. i told you to learn to love, but you've started learning… with someone else. what infuriates me is that i still want you.
i want to love you up and down, sponge you with my heart, soak you in my eyes. your lashes are like slices of butterfly wings, and your forehead wrinkles in concentration like a flag when it's covering a brainstorm. i love your downy-soft hair and the way that, in half a moment, you can go from being sincerely serious to genuine laughter that sounds like a river of wine bubbling backward up a slope.
but you're like a word caught on the tip of my pointy tongue--so close we're nearly touching, but you're infinitely far away. every time i reach out to you, you shift away anxiously. you'll let your leg press against mine under the table, but you never let our goofing around turn into more, the way you used to.
you never let it happen with me the way you're letting it happen with him, now.
when i'm fumbling words but managing to say the right thi
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 14 75
alone, defiant.
they lie. saying that the
only thing to do when you
fall down is to get back
up is propaganda. i can
stay down here, if i want.
maybe i do. it's comfortable
on the ground.
cliches can be fun, like
hula-hoops. but too many
tangle my legs and fuck
fuck fuck me up royally.
take your inspirational
elementary-school "we're
all special" bullshit
and shove it up your ass.
i'll find paradise by my
own route.
sighs are running laps
up and down my throat.
it's time for me to lay them
to rest and breathe deeply,
because i'm scaling a
mountain. my hands are
stained by dirt like shit,
and i know the sun is
waiting for me at the
top, but i want make sure
for myself, to make
triumph all that
(don't mourn for
me if i fall.)
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 26 61
the air i breathe
i never thought it would be you, but more and more i want to tangle you up in my brain like swirls of smoke from an exotic pipe. you're the drug i'm not addicted to, but keep going back to for more, more, more. okay, i lied. i am addicted to you. you're my gateway drug to love, and you'll linger in the bottom of my lungs forever.
it all started when we were children. we didn't know back then that putting up with each other because we had to would turn into slipping off alone together. we didn't know that arguing heatedly in our shrill kid's voices would become whispers in the dark. we didn't know back when we were young, like brilliant stars in the sky, that one day we would collapse into supermassive black holes and nearly collide, nearly devour each other, nearly fuse into one.
we didn't know that we'd nearly destroy each other.
when i realized that i wanted you, it hit me like a hammer between the eyes. i desperately started looking for signs that you wanted me, too. maybe you moved
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 52 70
ticking time-bomb heart
I hate the rain. Its bleak wet splatter
stabs with chills that make teeth chatter,
and I hate with passion giving speeches,
they freeze me up. I say, to each his
own, and it's not mine and never will be. Nor is
dancing when the hardwood floor is
watched by hard-eyed peers and critics.
Their stares strangle; my poor heart ticks
like a time-bomb. I hate singing
when the silence stares back, ringing.
Then I met him.
His sunlight smiles set me free
and taught me that the rain can be
nature's massage; its raindrop fingers
tickle with a love that lingers.
With speaking out, he gave me ease.
He taught me tricks, how to unfreeze,
and when the critics watch me dance,
I can breathe and they're entranced.
He says when I sing, walls smile back
I was a trainwreck, now I'm on track.
His gentle hands now hold my heart
and shock it so it can restart
in ways that leave it ticking loud
but not in danger--with him, I'm proud.
Dancing in the rain.
:iconscaredambitious:ScaredAmbitious 12 42



I'm here to write stories and poems. I came to dA to tell stories, line-by-line or in paragraphs, that people will enjoy.

Photo designed by my friend ralzaider, he also designed my Lit Tag and my Avatar! Thanks ralzaider!

Current Residence: your basement?
Favourite genre of music: anything brilliant
Favourite style of art: written/crazy/crazy
Operating System: Mac OS Leopard
MP3 player of choice: iPhone
Personal Quote: Yay!
NEW YORK WAS AWESOME!!! :D My friend took about 700 pictures, and I'm going to get them from him tomorrow and put up my favourites.

While standing outside the Trump Tower, guess who came out but Donald Trump himself! He waved at us and we caught it on camera, but he looked very grumpy and were told by the charming doorman that Trump was late for a meeting somewhere else in Manhattan, so maybe that's an excuse for him looking so sour. Or maybe he's just an asshole like everyone says he is. Regardless, I met someone famous! :dance:

We also lurked around Colbert's studio (which also happens to be in New York) trying to see him when he went home after the show. We didn't manage to get tickets because we're not over 18, but what can I say? We unforunately didn't see him, but we got to see where he worked and got a bunch of awesome photos.

We also saw the usuals (the Brooklyn Bridge, China-Town, the Met Museum) and ate tons of awesome food. Big Macs tend to be awful in the States compared to what we've got in Canada, but their McFrappés and smoothies were to die for! :love:

Maybe the best 3 days of my life. Still, I'm glad to be back, and I've got tons of ideas for stories/poems bumbling around in my head, so expect some of my crazy writing to come your way soon! :D
  • Listening to:
  • Playing: Tetris
  • Eating: Juicy Candy Squirt tasty things i'm running out of
  • Drinking: Water :D I love water.


Add a Comment:
marikob-k Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
:dance: Congratulations!
You've been chosen as this weeks Featured Member at #theWrittenRevolution!
Jenu1 Featured By Owner Mar 10, 2011
thankees for all the faves. :D They be much appreciated.
(1 Reply)
leyghan Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
(1 Reply)
amy-derfer Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2011
yo! thanks for the fave :)
(1 Reply)
ame-kami Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2011  Hobbyist
hey, haven't talked to you in a while! D:
how've ya been?
(1 Reply)
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